faeriewiccan's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bam Margera Quotes

From Jackass (both the movie and series...I'm too lazy to sort oh and there might be notes as to which stunt the quotes came from ^_~)

Bam Margera: Since we no longer have to bleep cuss words, I promise I will get my mom to say, "fuck" by the end of this movie.
After seeing an alligator in her house
April Margera: That's the scariest fucking thing I ever saw!

Bam Margera: Whose dick do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?

After waking Phil up with fire works
Bam Margera: Hey Phil, you know you have to get up at 5 in the morning tonight.

Bam Margera: I'm Bam Margera, and I feel like kicking my dad's ass all day today.
Brad Pitt: Hi, I'm Brad Pitt and I'm about to get abducted.

Commenting on his dad with a small Elvis suit on.
Bam Margera: Oh dude, you like an egg with legs.

April Margera: What are you, a jerk? Now i gotta get it outta that- BAM! (Note: Ok, so this isn't something Bam said, BUT STILL!)

After Ryan Jumped in a body of water...thing
Bam Margera: We're getting arrested 'coz of you!
Ryan Dunn: Ahh, We're getting arrested?!?
Bam Margera: I think so. Are you cold?
Ryan Dunn: You're an idiot!
Bam Margera:'Ha ha ha!

Bam Margera: Oh my god- you smell like hot trash!

Bam Margera: We're making a fuckin paramount production and we can't run smoke and lights at the same time.

Bam Margera: I just got off the phone with Rake's Mom and I asked her how much Rake hates mustard and she said I wouldn't be able to have kids in my future. I'm covering that son of a bitch in mustard!

From Paintball
Bam Margera: Phil gets off work in ten minutes, and I've got twenty paintballs up in this bitch. He's gonna die.

From Antquiqin
Bam Margera: Brandon did it, Punch him...

From Hole in the Yard
Bam Margera: Look, look! We're saving all the good grass right here, so we can just put it right back over, like no one would even notice!

From Hockey Fight
Bam Margera: Why don't you get back here you little hat-trick ass bitch!

From Snake River Jump
Bam Margera: Do it again bitch!

From The Loop
Bam Margera: I am serously gonna die right now.

From Snake River Jump
Bam Margera: You have to be an idiot to try this!

From Treadmill
Bam Margera: Right now we´re gonna hurt the treadmill, or the treadmill is gonna hurt us.

From Poo Dive
Bam Margera: Cause he's fucking brave that's why.

From Poo Dive
Bam Margera: You can actually see chunks of crap floating in there.

From Hockey Fight
Bam Margera: You had your big moment on the ice? Well, it's payback time! Kicking your ass would be the icing on my cake!

Bam Margera: Oh, dude ! My fucking tailbone is seriously broken ! I'm not even kidding!
Ryan Dunn: He broke his tailbone... That's alright, we don't have tails anymore, what's the point of having one?

Bam Margera: You don't matter... in fact, in about 20 seconds you're not even gonna be matter.

Motivating Ryan Dunn before land skiing down a hill, and jumping into a haggard assed tree.
Bam Margera: Quit being a little bitch about it. Now stick those poles in the dirt and push.

Bam: Once your blades start going, dude, your full force you can't change your mind.
Ryan: Oh, I know, I'm not changing my mind at all, I'm just trying to stay up. I'm not gonna change my Goddam mind.

Bam Margera: It's a skunk with wheels!

Bam Margera: French people are bitter because Americans come over and have no idea how to speak french and we dont even attempt to speak french. I know one sentence. Donez moi jam bone au bec mustard. Give me ham with mustard. Thats all i can say.

Bam Margera: Why does he sleep sideways? *EGUH*

Bam Margera: I want you to punch me in the face, one second prior to take-off so it softens the blow.

Bam Margera: Does anyone wanna switch boxers with me?!

MTV: Cribs

Bam Margera: This is Raab Himself, he gets paid to drink and get slapped in the face.

Talking About his Ferrari Modena.
Bam Margera: I don't know, i just bought the damn car.

Viva La Bam!

Ryan Dunn: You put ground beef in his toothpaste...he didn't complain once.
Bam Margera: He didn't even notice.
Ryan Dunn: He just said "it tastes like beef jerky." Not mad at all.
Bam Margera: You got the toothpaste, loved it. You got the firepole, loved it. The hydraulics, him and Don Vito had a f'in blast. There's hamburgers on his ass of his jeans and he has hamburgers on his T-shirt. Phil's Hell Day is gonna be forever.

a new SUV rolls into the driveway
Bam: We gotta get a new ride, Phil...right there, do you like that?
April: No, you're kidding.
Phil: Is it for real or is it gonna blow the hell up?
April: .......is it stolen?

Outside of a Retirement Home, while planting trees.
Bam: Old people and trees both have something in common.
April: What?
Bam: They're both going in the ground soon.

I Dunno Where These Came From

Bam Margera: I'm Bam Margera. I'm on this tour to be a SCUMBAG. I WILL NEVER SHOWER! water is wrong - YOU IDOIT! GODDAMN IT!! FUCK!!

Interviews

Bam Margera: Somebody hands me a Super 8 video camera, of course I'm gonna ya know I'm gonna go nuts with it. so I'm running all over the place just filming peoples faces, and this one random guy comes up to me and he's like, "that's very rude what you did." So I was in a goofy mood so I pulled the camera back out and started filming him again and he tries to punch me but he ends up punching the camera and it wasnt my camera so I dont care.

Question: Who would win in a fight? Phil or April?
Bam Margera: Phil is fat with a hernia and a jacked knee and Ape is weak.


From Haggard (NOTE: Bam Played Valo if you don't know..^_^)

Officer: I gotta take you in.
Valo: Aww, for the love of fucks sake, you CAN'T take him in.
Officer: I gotta make an arrest here; I had a complaint...
Valo: Whwhwhwh, wait, I got this sports watch, you can have it, here.

Glauren and Hellboy are having sex; Valo and Falcone are eavesdropping
Glauren: Teenagers were meant to fuck.
Valo: Did she just say "teenagers were meant to fuck?"

Valo: Some girl stabbed Ryan in the eye, now he's gotta rock a pirate-patch for at least a month.

after showing Ryan the tape of Hellboy and Glauren having sex
Ryan: I'm gonna rip Hellboy a new asshole.
Valo: No, I think Hellboy ripped Glauren a new asshole.

Valo: Let me guess: some sort of experiment?
Falcone: Spearmint? I'd rather Wintergreen. What are you talkin' about?
Valo: The TV. It's sideways.
Falcone: Why wouldn't it be sideways? I have to watch it with my neck straight, so I'm comfortable. Otherwise I'd have a taco neck, ya know?
Valo: Did you take acid?
Falcone: ...yea.

2:48 P.M. - Monday, Jun. 07, 2004

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next